cause

i have much to catch up on here in this little space of sanctuary for my thoughts, starting with a re-cap of a very special event that took place this past weekend.

several members from my family (including my mom, uncle and cousin) began their adventure on friday to walk the breast cancer 3-day.

this was the third (and final) year for both my mom and uncle to be walking.

it has been 4 years since i walked with my sister.

it is all still so touching and inspiring to witness.

My involvement seems to shrink as the years go by and the babies multiply and the needs are higher and the tolerance of sitting among throngs of people with little roaming room are shorter...but we always manage to make it out to what we can.

This year I was so happy to be at the opening ceremonies, in which I am always brought to tears and reminded of the heroes in my own life who have been effected by cancer.

a few of the cheerleaders...

It is a weekend of high hope and courage and I am always in awe of what people can do when there is something moving them forward...something called cause.

I'll be catching up in bits and pieces as the days move forward. There is a lot on my mind...a lot going on...a lot to get done.

I am here, trying to work through it all...taking wisdom from the walkers I saw this past weekend.

I'm only moving one step at a time.

highlight of our day?

sweedish fish outside on a blanket

it's the simple things, really.

isn't it?

a little lizard love

we went to the zoo this past weekend and all the animals were out and about. the storm that was brewing was making them all crazy.

we saw lots of activity, but our favorite friend was this guy.

we stayed at this exhibit with him for over 15 minutes, just watching and waiting for him to move.

isn't he cool?

he even has a piercing on his back.

you don't mess with that.

and doesn't it seem like if he had a voice, it would sound something like Ton Loc?

remember Ton Loc?

and ever since then, asher has been walking around on all fours pretending that he is an

"eewanna yizard that live wif a dine-an-saurs"

(an iguana lizard that lives with the dinosaurs)

the zoo:

our inspiration for further dramatic interpretation of all things scaled and reptilian like.

all i see is part of me

Do you ever look around your environment and see your inner workings being represented in the world around you?

Lately, I have been noticing my life is looking like this:

I have been busy. I kind of feel like I am spinning around at speeds that are beyond my control. Life is kind of whirling past me and I'm watching it all with a smile.

My quiet little photography business has been lively and lovely the past several weeks...and the next few weeks promise more activity and fullness. I love that, I do and I am really enjoying myself.

We are in that time of year again where we are beckoned here and there...the weather is so beautiful...the season is full of fun...and on top of it all is new groups of friends, meetings, special events, desires, etc.

It doesn't leave much room for remembering the basics.

Shower, cleaning, laundry, feeding the animals, paying the bills...yada, yada, yada.

You know that list, it never ends.

Even though I relish in this time of year...especially in the changes occurring outside, there are parts of me that struggle with the busy-ness. It is all good things that call out to us. But there is also that things called "too much"...and we have to find what that means for our family every year. Each month. Each week. Each day, really.

So, we can't expect to join every activity. I know we won't be attending every occasion we are invited to. We won't take showers all month long. Just kidding on that one. We will...(i promise).

But really, we have big hearts and big dreams and big hopes (and big families) all in which we try our best to hold space for.

But I am going to commit to giving myself more of this:

And that means just allowing for the confidence in my own understanding of my children and myself.

It means not adhering to every request placed upon us.

It means doing the things that help us grow and going to the places that make us happy.

It means just letting go of having to be anything beyond what we are.

We'll explore our world, this season, our selves in ways that give us energy.

I already don't sleep.

So, I have to counteract it with creating a life so rich in energy giving goodness...I won't know what to do with it all.

I won't have anywhere to go but with myself.

remembering

an alter downtown

in celebration of

Dia de los Muertos

Day of the Dead

It has been a full week since Dias de los Muertos, but I didn't want another one to pass by without sharing some of the color and life that we got to partake in when we ventured downtown for a celebration in honor of this tradition.

music, art, drums, marigolds, color, jewelry, life, joy...it all abounded.

check it out!

here

common ground

yesterday, i found my energetic hope being sucked thin by other people's words stemmed from emotions of anger and hatred that i read all over my computer screen.

i tried to understand...and i couldn't.

i see that some people are amazingly untouched by this victory, and i can easily let destructive attitudes stunt me.

but i deeply want to move forward.

*seriously*

and i know that it takes coming together and joining our efforts in our vision of a brighter tomorrow.

one thing i have found so incredibly inspiring is this notion of finding common ground.

it is there, let us find it.

check out this hope-full project .

read the words.

see the love .

and then contribute your own power message.

let's keep moving forward.

not back.

nope...we're not going that way.

send your contributions to Ze Frank

ze@zefrank.com

passing the hat

life feels pretty multi-faceted, doesn't it.

i struggle with knowing which things are mine to hold and which aren't.

so on days when the negativity of people's words that you read, the anger of things that you hear, the depleting energy that perhaps you let sneak and soak into your heart are just to much to bare.

pass the hat.

oh! and for the sake of kicks and giggles

it helps if it is one with glued on antennas...

hope

I woke up this morning with such a different feeling in my chest.

Lightness, hope, encouragement.

It is a feeling of witnessing and partaking in something so deeply significant, it is challenging to wrap my mind around the hugeness.

I am full of hope.

And, my faith in humanity is brimming with fullness.

Yesterday, throughout the morning, I tried to talk with Asher and Journey about what it means to vote.

Our conversation came and went for several hours in which I repeatedly had to explain that we wouldn't be going to a "boat" on a lake but that we would be using our voice to choose the next leader of this country...to VOTE.

I tried to explain what a president is.

Asher said: "I want to be the president!".

Go for it my child.

They went to the polls with me and they ate their apples and I couldn't help but think about how important this all was, to each of us.

My children will grow up knowing that this is the way things are.

Change is real.

And for me, it feels monumental.

I can remember my disappointment after casting my first vote in 2000 and feeling like my voice didn't matter.

I can remember taking Asher with me to the polls in 2004...when he was just four months old, and crying softly next to him that evening in bed over the results. My heart was so heavy.

Last night, there were tears...but of a very different kind.

This all feels so big.

Big enough that I have felt the need to share my hopes and slight opinions and joy over all of it in this space.

And now I move on into the promise of new beginnings.

woohooo!

and now i am dancing around my living room with so much joy and hope.

serious happiness.

i keep waiting

at some point, my house will clean itself, right?

i keep waiting.

asher was laying on the kitchen floor this morning, flapping his arms and legs in fan-like motions...mimicking the art of making snow angels.

he said: "mama, i am making a SAND angel."

i said: "oh cool...would you mind moving over to the carpet to do that?"

he said: "NO...I want to make a real one!"

oh, i get it.

i can just keep on waiting.

i was holding it in my mind for the past few days, to come up with a great idea for a picture to contribute to this important grassroots campaign.

it is something i feel strongly about and yet,

i'm still waiting on myself to take the picture and tomorrow is election day.

i ended up waiting too long.

i was waiting for november 1st to roll around the corner so that i could write my first post for NaBloPoMo. it came, and went...no post.

but i am still going to act like i did write that first post and i'll just keep on chugging along because i really just want to give myself that challenge of posting every day this month.

even if i already failed.

why should i keep waiting, right?

and on this eve of election day here in the usa...i am waiting.

waiting to cast my vote.

let my voice be heard.

and help make some change.

CHANGE...

i am through waiting for that.

eternal sunshine

my mind is so far from my body right now.

i had all of these wonderful intentions for celebrating this time of year with my little ones and nothing has really come together for us the past few weeks.

i don't even think that i got one picture of both my kiddos in their costumes!

i'm trying to gather myself together and have my mind catch up to where i am in this moment...but it has been so easy to slip away and get lost.

i can feel the chaos that not being present breeds into my days.

life gets complicated, doesn't it?

this is where i have been:

taking off, kicking back and wishing i still had this view:

part of catching up here for me is processing the sights, sounds, smells and thoughts that joined me for a few days at the coast.

it's been over a week, but it's all finally starting to sink in...and drift away in memory.

for more beach bliss, you can check out my photogblog ~

take a long, deep breath of the thick sea air and enjoy.