11.09.2008

all i see is part of me

Do you ever look around your environment and see your inner workings being represented in the world around you?
Lately, I have been noticing my life is looking like this:
I have been busy. I kind of feel like I am spinning around at speeds that are beyond my control. Life is kind of whirling past me and I'm watching it all with a smile.
My quiet little photography business has been lively and lovely the past several weeks...and the next few weeks promise more activity and fullness. I love that, I do and I am really enjoying myself.
We are in that time of year again where we are beckoned here and there...the weather is so beautiful...the season is full of fun...and on top of it all is new groups of friends, meetings, special events, desires, etc.
It doesn't leave much room for remembering the basics.
Shower, cleaning, laundry, feeding the animals, paying the bills...yada, yada, yada.
You know that list, it never ends.
Even though I relish in this time of year...especially in the changes occurring outside, there are parts of me that struggle with the busy-ness. It is all good things that call out to us. But there is also that things called "too much"...and we have to find what that means for our family every year. Each month. Each week. Each day, really.
So, we can't expect to join every activity. I know we won't be attending every occasion we are invited to. We won't take showers all month long. Just kidding on that one. We will...(i promise).
But really, we have big hearts and big dreams and big hopes (and big families) all in which we try our best to hold space for.
But I am going to commit to giving myself more of this:
And that means just allowing for the confidence in my own understanding of my children and myself.
It means not adhering to every request placed upon us.
It means doing the things that help us grow and going to the places that make us happy.
It means just letting go of having to be anything beyond what we are.
We'll explore our world, this season, our selves in ways that give us energy.
I already don't sleep.
So, I have to counteract it with creating a life so rich in energy giving goodness...I won't know what to do with it all.
I won't have anywhere to go but with myself.

5 comments:

Debbie said...

Those pictures are so unique and precious, just like you. Hope you have success this month with staying true to what is best for you and your family. It does seem like once September hits, the rest of the year is a blur. Enjoy your day, hope it is filled with creative energy and laughter! :)

(It was great to see you the other night and hang out!)

Brittni said...

That sounds good to me sister! I am not good at saying "no" to all the things that usually take control of my life and schedule book! I think I will just go stick my feet in the mud and stay for a while! Love you!

Nonnie said...

that picture looks like my world too....simplicity....where did it go?.....i think i will search for it in the mud with you, bee....see ya there!

daisies said...

i have been so busy .. coming here is like a breathe of beauty, thank you!! xoxo

S. Barnes said...

I'm not entirely sure why, but this entry made me cry. Maybe I recognize my own journey within (as evidenced by my last post). Or maybe it's just the authenticity and vulnerability and conviction of your words. Either way, thanks, sister friend.