Love Thursday and 30 Days::Day da da da da 30!

there has not been any time for much more than being present with these children this week. it has a great deal to do with what lessons i am learning in this life. although, just when i think i have a grasp on those very lessons...they seem to turn and become unrecognizable. i haven't tried to write about any of it, because of so many different excuses. i can't think clearly enough, i don't have it all quite figured out, it isn't completely a part of my life or practice. and then i am quickly reminded of this new found whispering comfort...pssst..."start where you are". because, really, if i made it up in my mind not to begin until i had reached my creative potential or until i had enough "time" or until my children listened to my requests or until i had myself and my relationships "together"...i would certainly never be taking the first step. thankfully, none of those things will ever happen, and so i must start where i am. and that is? totally imperfect. a bit of a mess. stinky, unshowered, jumbled, confused, curious, afraid, worn out. i always wear the "wrong" kind of underwear and just yesterday i walked into a room full of new friends with my shirt on inside out. yes, all of that is where i am at...and more. there is a whole enchilada where things aren't always nice and smooth, but where i am realizing that those "things" are the path to my softening...to my opening up...to my loving. i am acknowledging the afflictions of my heart in a whole new way. not so much a fixated, heavy sort of dwelling as it has been...but rather a friendly, gentle more light approach. i am learning that by loving myself, i am also loving others. and that all has to start now, in this moment, right here.

i keep envisioning the world deciding to throw this massive de-masking party where everyone is invited as long as you check your "stories" at the door. the stories that we all make up about ourselves...the ones that keep us protected, the ones that make sure our wounds are hidden or that we walk around in metal armor. a party where our image has to go and where we let go of any need to be afraid. what would that party look like? holy crud...wouldn't it be FUN!!!!! and tender, and alive, and piercing all at once.

so i'm starting. because i see everyday with these young children that there is so much learned from presenting our whole selves forward. there is so much richness in the honesty of it all and recognizing that moments pass, emotions are fleeting, tomorrow has come. we de-learn that, you know? every so often asher will let me know..."mama, you make me upset!". and then within minutes, he is forgiving me and carrying on without holding on. how do i re-learn that? how do i un-learn the habits that i do have?

i'm not totally certain, but, i'm going to start where i am.

30 Days::Day 29

dreams and monday memories

30 Days::Day 28

My attempts at obtaining order failed. Because really, is that even possible? Even if I did clear out all the weeds in my backyard (which, I did not...but there are two very large piles of weeds and two very small measures of yard cleared)...there is still disorder all around me. It is life. It is living. It is inevitable.

It is the way the dog runs inside and drags out my entire stash of tampons, one by one, tearing them up all over the yard as I pick away at the weeds. It is the way I discover that while I have been diligent at work outside, my son has been INSIDE pounding away at the window with a wrench. You know, because I am the kind of mom that leaves wrenches lying around the house for fun. It is also the way that I find my daughter who has climbed up on the kitchen table and is enjoying the last sip of my cold morning coffee. I realize that she has downed the entire cup that I forgot to drink and that, miraculously, little has made it on the floor or the table. I contemplate whether or not that is such a great thing...my one year old daughter hopped up on caffeine. It is the way I spent two hours approaching one weed at a time only to look up at the end of that two hours to see that my yard looks little different than when I began.

All of this is what "order" is. All of this is what I stroked up against as I attempted to get control of things. It is the greatest of lessons, really. Order is unobtainable. Order is disorder.

I am beginning to understand that although I may find myself somewhere I never thought I would be...it is exactly where I am supposed to be. Because, this path is the point...the chaos is the stillness...the effort is the magic.

No matter what kind of day I may be having, the birds continue to sing in the neighboring trees. Flowers are still opening further and blooming brighter. The Earth is still turning and shifting in season. There is order all around me. It is in the life of the moment and the inevitable dis-order we call change.

Happy Easter! Happy Spring!

30 Days::Day27

This rock used to serve as stepping stones in our backyard, until Asher discovered his ability to lift them up and throw them against our backyard brick fence. Then, their main purpose was to serve as some kind of rock throwing therapy for my little lover of throwing all things. He spent many a day diligently throwing each piece against the fence and delighting in the way that each would bust into new, smaller and more numerous pieces. I really think that it was some kind of necessary activity for him at the time, because, no matter how hard I tried...I just could not keep him away from this work. He was determined to get it done. And, now that they appear to be at just the right size and number, he has likened to stacking them in just the right way. I find it fascinating, his infatuation with order and pattern. It is something that I don't totally understand, but I see how it helps him feel more comfortable in the world. When I look at this stack of rocks, I actually see quite a masterpiece in it, really. A bit of method to the madness. Today I will be trying to bring a little bit of much needed order into our backyard. The one that has been overrun with weeds that tower over my children. I figured it was about time to get out there and do some weeding when I kept hearing Asher asking me to take a walk through the "secret jungle". And, I was completely convinced when I actually "lost" my little girl amidst said jungle for several, long minutes. Despite these initiatives, I have yet to get out there and get it done. So, today will be the day that I at least BEGIN. I know from my efforts last week at tackling the front yard...that this is hard work. Therapeutic, yes...but painfully repetitive. I think I will re-read this post, by Karen at the always reflective Cheerio Road...just to get my perspective centered. I have to continuously remind myself to just take it one weed at a time, which takes me back to childbirth when I had to remind myself over and over to take it one contraction at a time. Completely incomparable, but similar in the mantra department. And, my choices at this point are either spending my day outside with the weeds or staying inside and trying to gain some order over this disaster area we call home.

I think I'll step outside now.

Love Thursday and 30 Days::Day 26

wishing I could share a love hug with each of you lovelies for all of your gentleness and encouragement and for the ways you made some sense out of my rambling. much love.

Well, yesterday ended up being quite a spectacular day after I decided to begin. Funny how the world changes when we choose to take part in the moments that surround us. At this point in my life, I am learning so much about myself and about acceptance, forgiveness, love and contentment. They aren't always "easy" lessons by any means...but they are necessary and they are taking me into full bloom. For that, I am always open and available. I think so much of my frustration springs up from my thought processes. I tend to think of what I am NOT doing or what I wish to be doing, instead of just doing and also noticing the amazing amount of living I get done in one day. So, I think I am going to start speaking as though I am already doing what I hope to and also taking greater care in noticing what it is that my moments consist of. I can easily get tripped up on thinking too far ahead of the NOW.

But yesterday, after I released some of my patterns and decided to claim my beginning...some wonderful things took place. I met the kindest, most interesting man at the gas station who struck up a lively conversation with me for 15 minutes. This "stranger" and I chatted about his life as a rodeo clown and his broken bones and his further career as a stunt man in the movies. He talked about his part in the movie "Raising Arizona" and then we talked about his wife and his children and his " 50 some odd" years of marriage. He was smiley and full of love and he was asking me questions about my life. We shared our appreciation for this beautiful weather and wished one another well on our journey's. It was lovely...it was connective and it was affirming.

When nap time rolled around yesterday, I started some fun craft projects. I didn't really put much thought into it at all. I just picked up my materials and before I knew it, my fingers were covered with hot glue and my kitchen table had morphed into craft madness. Heavenly.

And today, well, today is especially important. Today is Spring Equinox and my mind is focused on what that means and how my life is reflecting the change of the seasons. I see how my own sense of self is being reborn just as the earth is and how the balance is shifting to new growth, new life and new beginnings. I am making a lot of lists that I have been holding intention to make. There is something really therapeutic in that for me. There is some forward momentous energy pulsing through me and I keep picturing myself standing at a giant wheel...reversing the direction it is turning with each new step. Writing the bits of my heart I felt compelled to write about yesterday was a small part in my own effort to open further into aliveness. I am sharing more of my raw thought and love. I am beginning to see the opportunity in sharing my authentic expression. I am remembering my softness, my life-fullness, my empathic nature...and I am welcoming it back home. I am being tender with myself as I know there are hills and valleys, storms and calm on this epic journey into wakefulness. I am walking.

We have a book around here that is consistently in use, being read and fingered through on many occasion. It gives us better understanding of the earth cycles and the days of honoring and acknowledging these cycles. Today, I have been reading much about the Spring Equinox. Specifically about this character Perspehone, who is the daughter of Demeter, the Greek Goddess of grain and growing things. "In the spring, Persephone comes back from the Underworld to be reunited with her mother. A part of the Goddess that has been sleeping all winter reawakens with the warming ground of spring. She who has been mother, midwife, and teacher throughout the winter now welcomes back her own daughter-self, the Maiden of Spring. At this time of balance, the Goddess is Mother and Daughter both." (from Circle Round ).

Day and Night...

"Day and night hang balanced in time, Persephone begins her climb. Back to mother and the sun, Earth knows that her rest is done."

I spend today delighting in the life around me.

I think I will put on a springy skirt, take a deep breath of the orange blossoms filling the air, and pour myself a glass of lemonade.

HAPPY SPRING!

30 Days::Day 25

I'm at that point of my internal cycling where everything is coming through loud and clear. It is a bit overwhelming. I feel on the verge of tears constantly. I am frustrated, a bit out of sorts and so easily pierced to the heart. Words take on new meaning. Tone is of utmost importance and the energy of intention is so painfully clear to me. I can't seem to scrounge up enough time to be alone...to sit in silence or at least hushed whispers. It gets difficult for me to listen because the messages are so loud, so pristine and their soul purpose is to converse with my fears. Although I am beginning to wake up after what feels like a long slumber induced by survival instinct...my fears still want to put me to sleep. They want to keep me "safe". I am noticing what an excuse maker I am. And, as much as I am learning to be gentle with myself and to love myself where I am at...I can't help but want to give myself a good kick in the pants at the same time. I have been connecting with some really, truly, amazing women over the recent past...via this space and beyond. Here, I have read about their courage, and their words have spoken to me like they came off the pages of my journal. They have gently reminded me of what is important and of where to begin. I can't express how life giving all of that has felt to me. And, the encouragement that has come from those of you who read my words and see my efforts and know my story...it is beyond my limited expression, what that does for me.

I can feel myself closing off if I am not in constant consciousness about it. I can feel it come up sneakily, making up excuses. I have been trying to reach out to others...both in the physical sphere and across the Internet. Sometimes, that action is met with the warmth and smiles of sunshine...and sometimes, inevitably, it is ignored or dismissed. At the same time, coincidentally but altogether unrelated, I have been trying to make comments on some of the blogs that I most treasure, and for whatever reasons, have not been able to. I don't know how all of that comes together, but it does, and I start to imagine walls and I feel shut off. All of this, of course, has no hidden meaning behind it, it is no one's "doing"...people are busy, computers are wacky, connections come and they go. I just have let myself dream up some picture in my imagination of being rejected, and I start hurting. It has been strange for me, and it is also hard for me to admit because it taps into some new found (but certainly not new) insecurities that I have. It has revealed to me certain ways that I compensate in order to feel safe. I am reminded of how I have shut down in the past over not being accepted or welcomed or loved...something that I was never prepared for upon entering my adult life. And then, the lies start selling me their pitches about how I am not creative enough or interesting enough or brave enough to make people want to stick around for a visit, for a friendship, for an adventure. It comes full circle back to me and what I am doing or what I am not doing. How what I put "off" effects what I allow to come "in". The universe is crazy like that. So, I start asking myself the questions that need to be asked. Why am I not creating when I want to create? Why am I not writing the stories that I want to write? When I see something that I want to take a picture of, why not stop and take it? When I feel the urge to make a necklace, why not pick up the first bead? When I think I need to just START on a mixed media project, why not just begin? When I have an idea about anything, nothing, something...just write it down, say it out loud, get it OUT.

Last night, just as I was about to hit the ceiling from the burst of frustration that I get when I feel like I am shrinking...just as I was reeling over the internal push and pull of having so many dreams and so many responsibilities and so little resolution...just as I was allowing myself to feel the weight of "where to begin"...we decided to take a bike ride down the canal. It was early evening, the sky was explosive with brilliant orange which turned the water a dusty pink. As the sky changed color, so did the water...from pink to deep purple to pitch black. The clarity of the sky spoke sharply of a day's end. Crickets began to chirp and birds were singing lullabies. I could hear only a few things, the muffled sounds of music drifting through opened windows and thin walls, the faded distance of cars, the hum of my bike tires, and the sweet moans of my baby girl lulling herself to sleep over the bumps and bounce of the ride. Two ducks flew over my head and skied across the water, coming home. We passed backyards full of horses and green grass and wildflowers. It was bliss.

For Asher, the ride was so exhilarating. He always smiles on these rides. But last night, he couldn't quite let himself soak up the moment. He was so completely worried about the ride ending...us going home and getting ready for bed...he was fretting about it the entire time. At one point, I casually mentioned that perhaps we "shouldn't worry so much about where we are going, but instead, we should try and just enjoy the ride". It was not until after I muttered those words that I realized I was speaking to myself.

"Let's go far, far away....up, up on a cloud", Asher said.

I heard Josh trying to convince him that was something we would not be able to do. This answer was unsatisfactory for Asher. He really wanted the ride to last forever. His beautiful mind was creating escapes that he knew would take up quite a bit of time. I have a particular understanding with certain parts of his spirit. I don't appreciate being told that I can't do things. Upon hearing his frustration with his daddy's response, I thought I might chime in with an open ended "we can certainly try our best". That seemed to satisfy both of us.

So, I took it all to heart, the lessons available during that ride. It all has something to do with my habit of closing myself off, of staying safe, of not taking risks, of welcoming fear and making excuses and not beginning again. It all had something to do with knowing that we are all in this together...whether we know it or not, whether we connect or not, whether we know one an other's story. It has something to do with choosing the openness of "doing something unfamiliar" of doing "anything besides rushing off in the same old direction, up to the same old tricks" (Pema Chodron from When Things Fall Apart). It has something to do with paying attention to my thoughts and realizing that every small act counts towards something. It has something to do with practicing unlimited kindness with myself and with every single moment that I experience. It has everything to do with waking up and deciding to begin.

30 Days::Day 24 and my first photo challenge!

As soon as I took this picture, I realized that I had captured an intimate moment with this amazing person...I realized that I was lucky enough to get to witness this particular view into his world. After visiting Shutter Sisters this week, and reading this challenge (from the amazingly talented Andrea Scher)...I also saw this moment in a new light.

I love that I am totally uncertain as to what he was doing in this photo, and I most certainly don't know what it was that was stewing in his heart and mind. But, what I do see is a moment of raw intimacy, a moment of beauty, a moment of stillness and quiet (which so rarely appears in his energy cycles). I think, in fact, that he was looking closely and dearly at one of his animal figurines...perhaps making conversation, perhaps not. I just know that when I look at this picture and see his eyes softly closed while being fully awake, I see peace.

30 Days::Day 23

This week was our first week trying out a food co-op. I was so excited to get my basket. I couldn't wait to get it home and search through all of the goodies. I seriously felt like a little kid on Christmas morning. It was that wonderful to me. This pineapple is probably one of the sweetest, most juice filled pineapples I have ever eaten. I couldn't stop myself from snacking on it all day yesterday. It was a most fitting companion to a date on the blanket outside with my babes and some books. And later on in the evening, I decided to cut some up and add it to the veggie stir-fry I was making for dinner. That was a good choice indeed. De-lish.

Thanks for all the fun comments that you left behind during my yellow excursion! I really enjoyed it and I feel like I have gotten the dose of brightness that I was searching for. I think this color brings a lot of well-ness into our lives. I envision health, happiness, softness and light when I see this color...and those are all things that I could use more of in this life. While reading your comments, I couldn't help but wonder if that might be a universal thing. Yellow does a mind good.

Thanks for the encouragement that all of you give me in this space. It has really meant so much to me and it fills me up with a lot of gratitude and warmth.

Happy weekend....

30 Days::Day 22

Yellow is the color, found inside....

Sweetly filling our tummies.

Offering words of affirmation. Showing signs of fatigue.

Whispering to be worn.

Guiding gentle thought.

Showing signs of spring.

Love Thursday and 30 Days::Day 21

Yellow is the color...

of love.

Something else I love this morning? I can't stop visiting this amazing person who I have just recently discovered...most specifically these words of hers that I so completely love and get.

Happy Love Thursday to you!

30 Days::Day 20

Yellow is the color...

found outside.

Playing hide and seek beneath the trees.

Blooming bright to say hello.

Curling up in silky circles on the cement. Bringing a bit of beauty to each passerby.

Reminding us to play.

Shyly creeping across the fence.

Shining bits of bright joy into our lives...helping us be well.

30 Days::Day 19

"Yellow is the color of my true love's hair, in the morning, when we rise. In the morning, when we rise. That's the time. That's the time. I love her best." ~Donovan

I keep singing this song over and over out loud...all throughout the house...all throughout the day. I keep seeing yellow, everywhere. If ever there were a color that gave me some good therapy, it would be this one. There is something about yellow that lifts me up just like the sun in the early hours of the morning. So having it pop out all around me has been quite a treat. It is as if I have yellow tunnel vision...and I am enjoying my narrowed focus tremendously.

I've decided that for the next few posts...not only will I share a picture, but it will be one that has something to do with this matured affection I have for the color yellow. Yellow may play a small role in the picture, or, it might selfishly consume the majority of the frame. No matter how, it will be included. I don't know for how long my consciousness will be drifting towards this color, and so I want to document it as much as I possibly can. For the past few days, I have done an obsessively good job at doing just that. I figure that by giving myself these short, open challenges...I am doing myself a favor in getting practice with my camera. I am starting to feel more and more comfortable snapping away with different subjects. I imagine that it takes quite a while to feel confident within the realm of photography...but maybe someday that confidence will come. And if it ever does, then it will be on to learning about how to maneuver through photo shop...(because, well, although I am drawn to the bare naked reality of pictures...I'm sure that my photos could use a little cosmetic surgery). For now, photo shop is way too intimidating. Learning how to add text to the pictures I put on the web would have been confusing enough had I not been blessed by a few angels who are familiar with the world of photography. Me, I am not as familiar as I would like to be. But nevertheless...it really serves a purpose in my life as an escape. And...I suppose I will just keep posting imperfect yellow pictures until I start singing a different song.

*This little one could use some sweet thoughts and love...and lots of yellow sunshine, as he is struggling very uncomfortably through a severe case of a stiff neck.*

30 Days::Day 18

For the past few weeks, it has felt quite wrong on the rare occasions that we are not outside enjoying this amazingly beautiful weather. It is this time of year that I wish I could hit pause. It is this time of year that I want to soak up these "perfect" days in every pore on my skin until they seep in good and tight. It is this time of year that I bask in the light of living on this little piece of the earth.

So, on the days that we are spending time inside...it is usually because of something so incredibly cool that we just couldn't resist! Places like the natural history museum down the street from us. It is one place that we recently spent a few wonderful hours at. Hours spent exploring, pointing, explaining, watching, playing and LOVING us some dinosaur bones.

It really was pretty exciting. There is a part of me that gets totally enthralled with trying to imagine the existence of these creatures. Not to mention that Asher could probably spend entire WEEKS inside of places like this without ever once considering or noticing whether or not we are around.

And once these perfect weather days start dwindling in existence...I am thinking that we might just start referring to this place as our "home away from home"...we loved it that much.

30 Days::Day 17

Forrest had just collapsed in a heap of exhaustion after running circles around the children for what seemed like hours in our backyard.

His head was nestled in between his front paws while his hind legs frogged out to absorb as much of the coolness from the shaded cement as possible.

Asher began speaking loudly to me.

"Forrest is dead mama. Forrest dead."

Since he has been talking quite regularly about characters being dead during his imaginative play, I thought I might probe a little further into his understanding of the topic.

Me: "Asher, do you know what it means to be dead?"

Asher (nodding with confidence): "Mmmm hmmmm."

Me: "What does it mean to be dead?"

Asher: "It mean you wake up."

And that is the exact moment that I walked up to him and kissed him on his forehead.

Love Thursday and 30 Days::Day 16

This little one loves her some milk. It is nearly the only thing that will satisfy her on many occasions throughout the day. It works for us, as I am the kind of mama that understands the need of having that safe place to calm and comfort oneself. It provides a bit of a sanctuary for me as well, if I allow it to. Calm,soft, loving comfort.

A few nights ago, Asher woke up with a startling cry...causing Journey to join him in unison. After scooping Journey into my arms, I turned to Asher and saw that he was grabbing his leg with intensity...a sure sign of the growing pains that plagued me as a small child. I quietly slipped in bed next to him, gathering Journey against my chest and allowing her to calm and nurse...while I began massaging the pain of growth away from his joints...calming his aching muscles as they stretched and pulled. He immediately calmed as well...and both babes were off and dreaming before long.

I laid awake for a while, thinking about this. Thinking about how, as a human being, there is such comfort in touch and safety in knowing that someone will help bring us into this place of relaxing into our trust that all will be well. That aching for someone to love us in just the right way...for there to be an understanding outside of ourselves of what we need and desire...and for that source to deliver us our longing to be loved. I sat there as mama...with my hand on the aching of one child and with my nourishment in the belly of another, exerting myself to be the provider for them at that moment.

Then, unexpectedly, the thoughts turned toward my own aching. I started feeling my own reaching and wanting for that perfect love. And, of course, just as I always do...I started hearing the words that I am continuously encountering. It isn't found outside of myself. It is found within.

I can learn to love myself just as I need to be loved.

And then I had a really wonderful conversation with that inner voice...from that sacred place...and my aches were calmed and comforted...soothed and nursed...held and touched.

It is one of my greatest hopes to see myself more clearly through eyes of understanding and love. It is an even greater hope to take that lesson and teach it to my children. Not only by creating this ambiance of safety in their young lives and by somehow giving space for them to dip in and out of it enough times to know what it is...to taste it and feel it and hear it and KNOW that it is love. But, I also hope to provide opportunity for them to access that inner power and learn to engage them (and myself) in the practice of kindness...kindness to others and kindness to self. Perhaps then we will begin to know a self love that never disappoints, always shows up, and moves us into true comfort.

30 Days::Day 15

I'm having a slight love affair with trees and their shadows. I especially love it when they dance around on the earth...painting a vivid image in my mind of their naked beauty.

I love this picture. The tree...the twisted embrace of her limbs...the way her branches paint their own picture on this brick fence...and the boy who unknowingly explores the foreground.

*i need to express my most sincere appreciation for your generous, heart warming compliments on my latest pictures. I really don't know much about what I am doing...but I know what I see...and when I read the comments that I have received from you about what YOU see in my photos...it really, truly makes me swoon. Thank you so.so.so much!

30 Days::Day 14

Yesterday we made yet another loaf of the increasingly popular (at least in our house) WHO bread...thanks to Soulemama for the tasty and satisfying recipe which has filled us up from morning to night in the past week. Freshly baked bread really is quite delicious. It could easily be one of the most anticipated indulgences for me lately...a fresh piece of just baked bread, melting a slab of butter with it's still steaming warmth. We had a "freshness" theme rolling throughout our day, continuing on with fresh-squeezed lemonade. I had forgotten just how thirst quenching this can be. And the two of them together? Well, I think there might be a new catch phrase around our house about things going together like "WHO bread and lemonade". Mmmmmm...quite perfect, actually. And really, how much more reFRESHing can the first sighting of wildflowers in our backyard be?

(sigh)

30 Days::Day 13

We usually only have one day each week to spend together as a whole unit...daddy included. It is always really exciting for the babes, a bit chaotic because of the energy that comes from things being abnormal and unique...but always appreciated and treasured. The day was really beautiful on Sunday...and this time around we only had a short morning to share together. So, we went down by some water, took a nice, long morning walk beside it and I enjoyed playing with my camera a bit more. I am really intrigued by architecture. Usually, historic architecture is what speaks to me most provokingly...causing me to dream up a thousand different stories of what the walls have seen and heard...what has been lived beneath that frame. I love when a building can tell it's own stories from the creaks and groans of the floor board...to the disintegrating exterior. There is something really magical about an old building. There aren't too many old buildings around my neck of the woods. When we took this walk yesterday, I got to looking at the architecture around me...and I really had a good time with trying to capture a new perspective on what I normally dismiss as just another form of the "new and improved" kind of synthetic world we are surrounded by.

These are all simple, unaltered shots. The images may not tell a story by themselves but when I started to explore different ways of looking at the lines of the objects and the space in between them, I started seeing new forms...and for me, it was just the perspective I needed for them to come to life...telling their own stories just the way they are.

Since I am doing such a terrible job at posting just one photo each day (there really were no RULES to the 30 day challenge anyway)...I'll keep rolling with these. Because, of course, my chilis are always the ones to bring me stories that fill me up with life and love...warmth and smiles.

30 Days::Day 12

It was a whoppin' 83 degrees yesterday. At least, that is what my car thermometer read...and INSIDE the car felt at least double that number. 83 degrees. Oh my.

Just as I started complaining to my sister that there is no happy medium around here...that summer comes a blazin' too soon after we feel like we actually have a taste of "winter"...she quickly reminded me that this IS our in between time. Ah, yes. Come July and 115 degrees...I will be dreaming of this late February day.

The day, in itself, was absolutely beautiful...and instead of focusing on the fact that things will only become more sweaty and uncomfortable with each passing day here on out...I did my best to relish in the now.

We were visiting my sister because she so generously was letting me use her washer to clean Jo's diapers after mine decided to stop working. The day was too bright and boastful not to venture outside in her neighborhood park. It was a mini photography session as well...I couldn't help myself.

I always have a good time attempting to catch some story-telling pictures of these little humans. I took a lot of pictures yesterday...but these ones are a few that I keep looking over again and again...because, for whatever reasons, they tell me a story of who these children are.

After spending a good amount of time in the glory of the sun, everyone was a bit warm and the thought of spraying each other with the hose sounded quite perfect. We went back to my sister's house, turned on the hose and let the kids go to town. With that much water around the desert, there is bound to me some mud puddles made. Asher decided to use the mud as his medium, the fence as his canvas and he put on quite a performance art show. This was immensely enjoyable for me to watch. When his overflow of creativity comes up alongside his need for active movement and takes it by the hand...he is led somewhere extraordinarily beautiful. I can see how these moments teach him about things coming together...where the information makes as much sense as the blue of the sky. I actually thought it was really quite artistic and, thankfully, my sister is that kind of cool mama that understands how valuable moments like this are and allowed for this kind of healthy exploration on her backyard fence!

So here is Asher...and his array of "finger footprints".