8.30.2007

hope on wings

As I jumped on here to post this...all of a sudden I became a bit shy about sharing it and putting it "out there"...but I also know that it is proving to be a good thing for me...to share and document and explore and trust. So...here is my first attempt at mixed media art! I have been wanting to take a go at this for quite some time now. Actually, it all started with a desperate visit to the bookstore for some deeply sought after ME time back in June, I believe. I picked up a Cloth, Paper, Scissors magazine...and instantly became entranced by the pictures and the idea of tiny bits of everything coming together to form one piece of art that has the capacity to communicate so much. I think I bought a canvas the next day...and put it up on one of the little shelves in my home...so that I would be reminded of my desire to create on it. But, there it sat...for months it seems...and every time I looked at it, I seemed to make another excuse for not getting started on it. I was holding the intention in my heart to create something for my beloved sister, Jamie. I had this in mind when I bought the canvas and it sat in my heart in the days before her birthday and the day of her birthday and the days following her birthday...and yet nothing was created, because deep down I was just afraid that it wouldn't be what I wanted it to be...it wouldn't be what I hoped it would be...it just wouldn't be "good". Ah, the critic within. And with that...I let the canvas add to its dust collection and I wrote almost daily in my journal about wanting to get started on it. At one point...after some words from The Artist's Way ...I did muster up the courage to paint the canvas red. But it didn't get much further than that...besides drawing even more attention from me and my longing creative heart with its bold and loud new color, sitting up on my shelf with boastful enthusiasm.
So...it was much to my surprise that, after so long, I decided that I had enough with my excuses...that I would trust this exploration into mixed media...and that I wouldn't judge what came out of it. I made the effort to start creating and this is what came of it. It was a very, very fulfilling process for me. Not because I think that what is pictured above is anything spectacular in the realm of art...but because of who I made it for...and for who is pictured in the art...and for what all of that means. I made this for my sister...who is so courageously making her way through a tiring and faith-filled journey...with the kind of strength that I only hope to one day possess. I made it out of a picture of my angelic grandma, Juanita, who I so confidently believe is wearing wings in another realm of existence...and who I felt slipping thoughts into my head and objects in my hand at just the right moment as I (or should I say "we") created out of intention. At one point I had added one of my mom's earrings into the piece to serve as a "broach" of sorts for my grandma's blouse. Little did I know that the earring I chose was one that my mom wore on Jamie's wedding day. Stuff like that just gives me goosebumps.
It is a piece that today found it's rightful place in the home of my sweet sister, who received it with the greatest amount of gentleness and love . A piece that brought us both to tears as Jamie's eyes studied it for the first time...a piece that, in my mind, brings forth mounds of hope and comfort...because of the woman whose photo is captured in it...and because of how she encompassed those traits (and so much more) long before she ever had wings.

7 comments:

Hamguin said...

It's all about the love you used to create the piece, Jess. I hope your sister and you are able to stand in front of it many times, sharing the reflection of that love, those memories, with each other.

You are so wonderfully expressive, and I'm grateful to have the chance to read what you write.

kwright said...

Jess, for me, Art is an outlet for expressing my emotions, so I can understand your hesitation in posting something so precious to you. Just remember, Art is never ever wrong! There are NO guidelines. It is an extension of your raw energy! Have fun with it, don't stress over it! You will find that most mixed media artists will never, ever critique, because of this very statement. I look forward to seeing what else you produce! For more inspiration, you might want to pick up a copy of Somerset Studios...another great mixed media magazine.

Debbie said...

Jess, once again you brought tears to my eyes. You have such an intense connection to those that you love. With that in your heart, no matter what you created for Jamie would be breathtaking. You as well are a pillar of strength to look to for guidance. I am glad that you took the chance, created something beautiful and then courageously shared it with us. Enjoy your newest creative adventure!

Farfallina - Roam 2 Rome said...

I hope your sister Jamie will surpass her tiring journey!

Your grandma Juanita does look angelic, this was very emotional for you to make :)

Speaking of hope and comfort, you gave her just that!

Speaking of wings, there is a saying I've read a couple times now

"We are all one-winged angels. We cannot fly unless we embrace another."

With heart warming touches like this one, I'm sure your sister will surpass her tiring journey :)

Nonnie said...

I can't even find the words to express how wonderful I think "your" creation is, Jess. And the thoughts behind its making just bring even more beauty and meaning to it. Your words about and for Jamie and Grandma brought tears to my eyes. I love it!

daisies said...

wow, so brought tears to my eyes, such an incredibly beautiful and story of its creation is so moving and brave and heartwarming ~ you made something beautiful out of something beautiful .. xoxox

Simplicity Wins said...

This is just beautiful Jess. I am sure Jamie loves it and was honored that you chose to make something so soecal for her.