I can remember being a little girl and always getting so excited when you would ask me if i wanted to go somewhere with you. It didn't matter where we were going...I just remember feeling so special that I got to hang out with you for a little while...alone. If we would go to the grocery store I always pretended that you were my mom and I always wanted people to think that you were my mom (as if they even thought about it or cared!)...but I totally remember thinking about how COOL that would be. The dynamics of our relationship as the oldest and the youngest created something within my life that has always been very special to me. When I was younger, your life was always somewhat mysterious to me. You went through things that I had no clue of understanding at such a young age...but I always knew that you were my big sister and that I loved you and that you were all kinds of "cool" in this world. I remember getting a bit jealous if your attention went to anyone else at family gatherings and Oregon beach trips. You were MY big sister...not theirs! I hold close those moments when you would share yourself with me. When you whispered my christmas gift to me and I whispered yours to you one christmas eve slumber party in the basement. I hold close the memories of you doing my hair for family pictures because, God help me, I had no idea how to do anything of the sort! I remember being in the mall with you in Farmington and us visiting one of your friends at the Peanut shack and you telling me the secret crushes you had. I felt so important for you sharing that all with me. I held a special position as the "approver" of the boys that came around...and just because I was the youngest...I got to get a closer look at what you and your friends would do than my other sisters did, I think. I thought that was all pretty wonderful.
As the years have passed, you have become so much more to me than my "older" sister. You have become a very dear friend...a confidante...a person who deeply and consistently cares about my well being...a fellow dreamer. I love the relationship that we all share and I love the fact that I have four really incredible best friends in my life...my sisters.
I know that I can ALWAYS turn to you for support, encouragement, advice...or just for a place to be heard. That is so very important to me and I am so thankful for that safety with you. Thank you for being the amazing woman that you are and for giving me so many precious memories.
Today, my hope for you is that you can catch a glimpse (however fleeting it may be) of what the significance of your life is in this world. I hope that your heart can wrap itself around the fabulousness of YOU. I hope that your spirit opens up to that self-love and that you are able to experience the freedom that comes from accepting the beautiful creature that you are.
Happy Birthday Jamie!
With a great amount of love and thankfulness,