bear with me

a girl and her mama

I got a glorious massage about 5 hours ago (thank you dear Abby...do you read this?)...just being in the office made me want to start practicing again...anyone need a massage? Anyway...if I am talking in circles, just go with it. It will be over quickly (ya right, huh!).

Change is good. I made a few changes on the blog. Brightened things up a bit. It seems to be just what I need. I only wish I had the computer comprehension to download a more original backdrop...or better yet...create my own! Wouldn't that be ideal. Anyone out there willing to teach me? I love that I don't know who all drops in here. Several times over the last few months I have received random e-mails from people I know, who I didn't realize visited us here, just encouraging me and lifting me up with kindness. I've had face to face conversations or phone conversations with others who also mention this place and what they think of it. Or, I am surprised by a comment or two from people that leave a little trace of their visit in the comment section. I love it all...and it makes me so happy to think that a tiny little community takes place here. I started this whole blogging biz with little intention. I knew of a few (two to be exact) other people who used blogs as places to share pictures and stories with family and friends. So...that is how I started it and just intended to post pictures every once in a while with a blurb here and there about the chilis. It hasn't morphed into anything grand or beyond that on the screen by any means...but it HAS done a whole lot more for me "behind" the screen, if you will. After stumbling upon a few mommy blogs that linked to other blogs...I discovered these really wonderful, creative and SUPPORTIVE communities of bloggers. You can see what blogging has done for a LOT of people out there just by reading their posts and viewing their transformations. I think that is really awesome! I got inspired and am still inspired to use this space as a creative outlet...a place to write and dream and share bits of myself with others. A place to record moments in time with my babes. A place to just...be. A source of creative energy. I look forward to coming here when I can. I look forward to sharing myself here, and, although it isn't ALL of me...just a few bits and pieces that I FEEL like sharing in this space...it feels great to be here and I LOVE the possibilities it brings. I like the fact that I don't know how long I will be blogging here or what this space will "become"...but I know that it will evolve and change, just as I do, for as long as it exists. I like knowing that some family and friends that don't see us often get a peek into a few of our days. I like the surprise visitors that come here and the times that conversations are engaged in and those that I don't even know who visit now and again. I am happy for all of it.

Through my own cha-change...my own transformation...I have been thinking about some of that stuff. About my voice, about being heard, about friendships and communities of people and what it means to nurture who I am. For some reason, this place has been coming to mind as a kind of "meditation room" for me. Sometimes I just come here to write...and sort through something...or I come to "record" moments in time for me and my loves. In any regard...I kind of reach a point of goodness while being here. I have been noticing that when I can create something, I feel more whole. It is like having those relationships in life where the energy exchange is equal...where you walk away from a conversation feeling more FULL and alive than before. I want to foster more of that. Not only in choosing to nurture the relationships in my life that bring me that kind of love...but also through creating. It is all a part of aligning my energy and values with what is good and positive in this world.

All of this means a few things to me. Turning my energy towards the positive. Lending my strengths to the things that set me free and make me whole. At this point in my life it has something to do with using my creative capacity. It means FINDING beauty in this environment I am living in and taking pictures so that I can remember that it is beautiful. It means trying to create something on a daily basis. It means quieting myself more and giving myself the permission to be nurtured by loving people. It means being the best I can be...and opening myself up to growth. It also means that I want to come here more often. I am resisting writing that because I know that it would require some discipline and organization on my part. Two things that don't come "easy" for me. The thing is...I think it would be good for me...and if I state it here...I am held a little bit more accountable than if I just kept it to myself because I know that a few people are "hearing" me.

So...a few thoughts that needed to be purged... nurturing the yummy friendships in my life...putting greater intention into "creating" (this can mean oh so many things!)...being more consistent with my visits here...yada yada yada. Massage always does this to me. It gets things moving...and these "things" just happened to want out right here....in this space.

If you are having the urge...feel free to purge in the comments below.

Or better yet...start a blog...it's good for the soul!