4.16.2008

here's to life

All day long, I have had words dancing in my mind about reaching out. Keep reaching, they say. Connect, they say. Open further, they say. It is enough to make me stretch my arms to the dreamy day sky and want to collapse into the state of the earth...always facing the wide open abyss of freedom. There has been such a pull to write, almost as if that very freedom needs to somehow be contained...like the force of gravity that constantly pulls us down into connection. I have been craving connection, and naturally, have received it in some extremely delightful ways. Even if it just means me putting more of my heart, my story, my pulse out "there"...into the world...into the hands of those who hear it and see it and know it to be real...it is happening.
In the spirit of being brave, I have began to let things go. I have taken notice of what brings me to life. I have decided to choose. I have been utterly inspired. I have sang out loud and made promises to myself. I have started to understand. I have been, moment by moment, moving my arms a bit further around myself...daily.
In the spirit of being brave, I am saying this now. I want to take more pictures. I want to get practice with my camera. I want to see as many emotions and expressions as I possibly can. I want to try my best to capture the entirety of the human condition. I think this would be a beautiful thing. Asher, when he is trying and falling short of whatever he is trying to do, will often force his hands down to his side while exclaiming "I've got to keep practicing!!!!". It is what has been driving my own efforts lately as well. I know I need to keep practicing on so many different levels...but this one, this one I am going to ask for help with.
Can I take pictures for you?
It is in the spirit of braveness that I ask that...because I know my skill level. I do. I know that I am not great at this photography stuff...but I also know that I want to be better. I know that. I also know that in the off chance I DO capture a moment so raw and real...something bubbles up inside of me and spreads across my soul like sunshine on my shoulders. I know that it feels good...and I like feeling good. I'm comprehending that when something feels a bit achy and tense...that maybe I am not ready...but maybe I am and I just don't know it. And it is true that perhaps I won't know which is which until I just try.
So, friends and family...if you are local to me and I am local to you and you are interested in me taking some pictures for you...will you let me know?
You can shoot me an e-mail or leave me a note here on this little posty.
I feel as though I am coming into bloom , opening by opening, and sensing that this tiny bit of reaching out might just allow for another petal to expose itself to the sky...breathing in the freedom of being alive. And, while I notice that the blooms on my birthday plant come to a close when night falls, and that when it does fall I will find life in the closing...right now it feels like wide open dreamy day. And so, I open further.

7 comments:

Nonnie said...

you can take pictures for me any time, my dear girl! i love your ability already....and think you have a wonderful eye.....to see the picture!
xoxo

Nonnie said...

p.s.
i think it is a wonderful idea!
again,
xoxo

Debbie said...

Give yourself credit...you are an amazing photographer! I have the maternity shots to prove it! Anytime you want practice you can use my family. You are such an inspiring writer, you consistently amaze me. I admire you for reaching out and being brave!

Jme said...

I am SO proud of you. For whatever reason your bravery brought tears to my eyes and it feels good to see you being confident enough to pursue this venture.
I love you. Beautiful things will follow.

Beth said...

i wish i was "local to you"! i would LOVE someone to take some pics of me with my boys...maybe we just need to make it down to area:) soon i hope! it is so great that you are opening yourself up, you are very talented, and i know you'll capture great moments for everyone you photograph:)

Gillian said...

Oh this was so beautifully and inspringly written. I am drawn in to happiness and bliss these days, it's like I've realized that I have no room in my life whatsoever for naysayers and the doomy-gloomy types.
I am allowing bliss in, and it feels super wonderful.
Your pictures are superb too, by the way, I'm not sure if you are professional or not but they are so very well done.
Your mom blogs? Mine too! They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
xox

Mommy to a Tater Tot said...

You wanna take Tatum's one year photos for us?? I have total confidence that you will capture the most beautiful part of her which is her everyday smile and utter hap hazard craziness. Seriously, lets set it up. Email me and we can set a time. jlocke@medicis.com