if ever there was a road that sung my heart song and whispered lost moments of my past back into my ear...it would be this one. this road that held a tired young girl on visits to her grandparents house. this road that led the way to a new frontier...this road that made space for me to lay my excitement and anxiety before me on my way up to college for the first time. this road that inspired courage to end my first romantic relationship...and then carried my pain and my tears on my way out of town to escape from all of that mess. this road that,years later, guided me and held me close in the hours after learning i was pregnant...allowing me to sit with josh and tell him of the news. this road that leads to this town...
this town of new beginnings and endings...where i came to know myself. this college town with gentle spirit and awe-inspiring beauty. this town where i met my love...where we ventured into relationship...where we cried and laughed and loved. this town where my worldview shifted...where i found awareness...where i explored my intuition. this town that i left after graduation in sorrow and discord...this town where josh stayed...this town that i visited so often and had to leave...my sense of place...this town.
and this town leads to this road...this road that i traveled as a small child...this road that was so familiar to me...soaking in the land as though it were my own backyard. this road that held a teenager who felt so lost without her home-town, without her friends, without everything that made up her "life"...this road that would bring her back through this town that she grew up in as a small girl...where she would visit the places she once knew so well and see how they changed and grew without her. this road that would go through this small town and lead her on to the town she considers "home"...
"home". this town that has evolved and exploded with growth, but that still holds the pieces of my childhood so carefully. this town that leaks memories from every street i drove on and almost every building i passed. this town that held the innocence of my youth and the innate happiness of play and new discoveries. this town that reaches far into my heart and grabs hold of the simple truths of what i know. this town...my town...this town i love so much.
there were many wonderful moments along our trip to visit my sister. the comfort of their home hasn't yet escaped me...the creative energy i received from cassie teaching me beading techniques (oh.my.goodness...I LOVE IT!) is still kept within reach...the quiet moments of heartfelt connection with my sister stay close in my mind...the thrill of my first Harley ride (wow!) still lingers in my spirit causing smiles to spread across my face at weird moments throughout the day...the beauty of durango still dances in my heart, calling out to me all day...and the long ride that stirred up so much within me of where i have been and where i am going is something that sits inside...very comfortably...echoing my journey thus far and helping me realize what a beautiful road i have traveled.
"home". this town that has evolved and exploded with growth, but that still holds the pieces of my childhood so carefully. this town that leaks memories from every street i drove on and almost every building i passed. this town that held the innocence of my youth and the innate happiness of play and new discoveries. this town that reaches far into my heart and grabs hold of the simple truths of what i know. this town...my town...this town i love so much.
11 comments:
Oh sweet Jessamyn. I love this entry. It truly speaks to your heart and I love your heart. How funny how a road trip can stir up so much within you. I am sure your little vacation to visit Cassie was wonderful. I am sur she loved seeing you and the kiddo's. She left a comment on my blog! I was so excited!
i loved reading this.....it put me back in my hometown, and all of my memories came flooding back. i'm glad you had such a great trip!
This "town" brought a flood of memories to me. A place where I lived over 50 years ago...waking up each morning to KLS radio - feeling the crunch of snow under my feet as I walked to the red brick HS/JR High at the end of Sitgreaves. (no longer exists) - the Indian Pow Wow every 4th of July, having Indians nearly camping in our yard - seeing every movie that came to town at the Orpheum Theater - whiling away my time sitting in the kitchen at the Monte Vista Hotel Restaurant until one of the cooks thought I was spying on him! Experiencing my first grown-up kiss (it was awful). Travelling "Bloody Rt 66" to Winslow, Gallup and Albuquerque. Coming to Phoenix on the mostly unpaved Black Canyon Highway and eating the dirt...I could go on........
I am so glad that this trip did what you needed it to. It is good sometimes to remember where we have come from and where we are now. Each of the "roads" we have traveled in life help create the being in which we are today. Your pictures are just beautiful and really capture the feelings in your heart. Hopefully those wonderful feelings stay with you for awhile.
Thanks for refreshing old memories. I can "feel" a lot of what you wrote about. Being your mother, I went on that road with you through many of those "travels"...... they all are a part of who we are! I love that town still, too. It was very good to our family and will always hold a special place. And now....once again we have family there! Life stays very interesting! :)
Oh Jessamyn...what a great memories as I know what that road can do for your spirit after traveling back and forth for four years...
beautiful writing and pics, jess. i love that picture of shiprock. you are such a talented individual. love you!
How I love seeing Shiprock again. I love that famous old rock. After a tiring long journey from Phoenix I became estatic when Shiprock hoved into view on the horizon like a majestic sailing ship on the desert. I knew then we were not far from our destination of embracing our 5 beautiful little granddaughters waiting for us there in Farmington. And on our return trip to Phoenix I felt a sadness when I saw Shiprock in my rearview window fading into the distance, knowing it would be quite awhile before we traversed this road again and see the comforting sign of Shiprock welcoming us to a few days with our lovely little family in Farmington. Thanks for the memories, Jessie. GG
Hey Jess, I loved this blog. I think that there are very few people who can really understand how I-40 to Gallup and then old 666 (491 now I think) through Gallup, Shiprock and Kirtland can stir up some big emotions. I have this experience everytime I go "home" a mixture of joy, anxiety and sadness seems to take over. Little old Farmington where would we be without it?
I am glad you had a good time with Cassie.
Kari G. (Kellenaers)
oh! Thanks to all for your reception here. I had a good time writing this post...and I am so glad you enjoyed it!
Hi Kari!:)
oh sweatheart, i love this post ~ and how amazing that we both wrote about our roads :) i love that!! so glad you learned some new beading techniques, gained new memories from that road that holds so much ... xox
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