let me paint you a picture

me...alone in my car, singing at the TOP of my lungs...

"she needs WIDE OPEN SPACES...

room to make the big mistakes"

a moment that caught me, grabbing onto something hard to reach within and changed me completely.

if only for the moment.

when life offers peace

It is usually unanticipated yet severely lovely...these small moments of peace that tip toe into our lives and leave behind their grace and pleasure. I've been experiencing a few and I could think of no better way to honor the gifts than to share them with you.

~noticing the fields upon fields of mature corn basking in the hot summer sun just waiting to be picked and devoured.

~the slow, scrumptious sound of Corinne Bailey Rae accompanying me and my clients during massages.

~a lone trek to Jo Anne's...and getting lost in her aisles of possibilities

~an unusually overcast day that was a perfect fit for our already subdued moods...although it was due to my babes having fevers, it turned out to be quite medicinal in that we lied around in sleeping bags all day long with books and movies. a perfect remedy to a long, busy few weeks.

~just baked chocolate chip cookies

~sunflowers adorning my kitchen table

~my little boy speaking softly in his sleep while I type

~slowly and steadily catching up on some of my favorite blogs and all of their beautiful inspiration

~the taste of summer strawberries and the fact that they are a part of our breakfast every possible morning

~holding my baby girl while she snoozed and drooled on my shirt

~taking notice of those moments that swoop me up and teach me that I am everywhere I need to be...right now.

birthday weekend picture storybook

The tree frog party was just as happy as anticipated and the joyfulness in the love that surrounds this little boy is always so affirming. He really enjoyed his day and all of the fun festivities that came with it...most particularly the endless hours playing in water with his "kids" and searching for crickets into the late hours of the solstice night.

Most of his birthday weekend was spent like this:

With weightlessness and soaking up every bit of sunshine that was kissing his shoulders. Summertime bliss, especially for this little crab baby. His element is water and he breathes it like a fish.

On Sunday, his actual birthday, there was also a little of this:

And that:

And for this four year old...volcano cakes and dinosaur bones are pretty much considered slices of heaven on earth.

So is traveling home from a date with daddy and mama with a new T-Rex book in hand, all the while sporting the coolest pair of flip-up chameleon shades (those of which I only wish were made in mama size).

Thank you for all the birthday love you showered this little one with. It does our hearts great good.

four years

My Dearest June Bug,

You are pure magic. With the brightness of the sun and the fierceness of its fiery flames...you shine light for all to see. I hope that four brings with it an entanglement of delight and adventure.

I love you my beautiful four year old.

madness

I think this picture sums up how we have been feeling this week. Among all the lovely things (like eating sugary sweet popsicles) there is something that is making life a little difficult. I know it is a combination of sickness and learning new things. And trying to process all of that in the month of June, for us, is a little crazy. June is crazy. There is a LOT going on and I feel like I am mid-blink. By the time my eyes re-open, I know this month will be over and we will be scrambling for some sanity.

I'm trying to just roll with the insanity of the moments. I really don't have any other choice now, do I? My hope is to see if I can get a good habit in visiting this space for some "ventilation" more often than I have been. I have missed writing a bit...it always proves to be such a healthy piece of expression for me. I like healthy.

So, as the events continue to circulate and give us great joy in celebration, we will do the greatest thing we can do...let them take us away in all their whimsy and fun. There is a certain boy in this household who is especially excited about the forthcoming "fwee fwog potty" (tree frog party) to be held this weekend. So, this mama better quit her writing for now and venture on into the making of birthday magic.

All my hopes for a quick return.

as is

highs.

and lows.

There is a lot going on in this little home. Some sickness. Some potty learning. Some creating. Some reading. Some going within. There is much that I wish to record, but I haven't the energy to do so at the moment. Just wanted to pop in for a few brief words. We are resting and playing and relaxing "as is".

all is well

Hello there! It has been a while, yes? Yes...it has. I have been out of the loop in every way possible the past few weeks. The details involved in making our days run have been taking the cake over creative outlets and anything inspiring, really. There has been a great leap in learning within our walls and with the curiosity and eagerness of these two little ones...I can't seem to do much else but learn along with them.

I've been trying hard to shift my thinking towards the BIG picture when it comes to finances and schooling and eating and living. Looking at the big picture always makes my head cloudy because I lack that trait that makes it easy to bring the big picture into the small picture. You know, the one where you know how to draw up a plan and incorporate which steps to take now and which to wait for later. I know how to dream and I know how to scheme up a really great picture...I also don't have a problem taking the steps once I know what they are. It is just knowing where to go from dream to step...the planning of "what" to do "when", that is where I get lost. So, life has been cloudy for me while I wait to learn that trait and I sit with myself while feeling like I am a thousand different souls at once...desires dancing around without a home. I have always been urgent...when I feel something come into my heart I want to manifest it NOW. I am realizing that this is literally impossible when you are as filled to the brim with passion and desire, because it would take several lifetimes to manifest the richness of every dream. I am trying to gain focus and I am trying to make choices. It feels a bit like organization of my mind, where I have to prioritize and rank and come to terms with saving things for later. None of that feels "good" to me, or natural for that matter. But I know that tasting reality can get me moving in the right direction...towards feasible doing and living.

It is very difficult for me, this balance of dreaming and walking. I am very intimate with my dreams and with what I know to be true within my heart...but I don't always know if it is what can exist outside of myself and I am totally unsure as to how to make it all blossom and thrive.

I am craving to break away towards the ocean where my thoughts can drift about on the waves and where I can get in touch with the reality of what matters and of what is mine.

Right now...life requires me to teach and learn, to be present with the demands that are necessary for children to feel safe and provided for. I try to make room for all the different pieces of me and I realize that there is a bigger picture. Life has this funny way of allowing certain parts to thrive while rocking others to sleep. I think perhaps the art of knowing one self is to be comfortable with what exists...whether it is known by others or not...and to have faith that what needs to be developed within is what is perfectly being refined through our life experiences at the moment. It is here where the cloudiness drifts away, where I can breathe deeply and whisper to myself... "all is well".