on meeting inspiration*

I have been meeting some old wounds in the past week. I have been listening to their truth and seeing their pain. I have also been met with some soft, magical comfort. I am held. I am loved. I am heard. This is inspiration to me right now. This truth that, no matter what I may be coming up against, there is space held for me to process through it.

For the past several weeks inspiration has taken the form of various little gifts. A date with a treasured girlfriend to go see Julie and Julia. A surprise gift (consisting of last month's Artful Blogging magazine along with some fresh baked, homemade bread) on my doorstep from said friend after watching the film. A sweet bloggy date with the beautiful and talented Georgia with whom I have already dreamed up many a dates to create and play.

sweet Georgia on our lunch date

The gentleness of nature when you meet her for a visit. The sweet sound of someone telling you that they feel a soul connection with you...and you feeling the exact same way. An invitation from someone you deeply care for and admire, extending warmth and dreams...soul and truth. The motivation to keep on creating what you want, even when things aren't "just right". Writing anyway. And the realization that "failure is part of the process" (an excerpt from the book "Be the Hero"). Inspiration is necessary. It is quiet whispers of confirmation. You are on the path, you are seeking, living, searching for kindness. You are coming into the truth of knowing it for yourself in a way so deep and powerful, your life will only grow from here.

coming together.

in so many incredible ways, it feels like we are reaching a very tasty place in this home. my children are really growing and stretching their worlds. asher is venturing into this new developmental stage of being so hungry for knowledge and experience. he is constantly asking me to read his dinosaur books to him over and over again, telling me with each turn of the page how he wants to go back in time and get every single one of the dinosaurs on the page. he aches to KNOW, to experience, to be fully submerged in his passion. it is quite contagious to see that fire and i want to do everything i can to help fan the flames. with this child, it could turn into an all out BLAZE, i do believe. they are also entering a very tender point in their relationship that i have not yet witnessed. there seem to be more moments of peace in their interaction, where they are reaching to one another for understanding and support. they are discovering that they have a true friend in the other. the quarrelling hasn't stopped, of course. the competitive spirits they exhibit at times still leave me flustered and confused...but there are these moments. the very true and soft moments of it all coming together. i try to rest in each one as it appears, but they are usually too quickly gone. even in their passing, there is peace left in the quake of togetherness. and i think that is summing up the shifts happening within myself. i feel as though i am taking the necessary steps of bringing it all together~ my perspective is being shaped by the deliberate actions of aligning my world with the things that are important, right now. i am learning to embrace the fact that in order to be who i know i am~ i must create the time in which to allow her to live. this means that i flexibly sew threads of my essence into the tapestry of my days through a pattern. for us, it means some type of schedule. and, as much as my free spirit coils from that word...i know that in doing so~ it will inevitably free me from those feelings of utter emptiness because of the hunger i feel for feeding such varied parts of my heart. i have spent quite a bit of time learning about what makes me feel FULL, of what encourages my higher self into active participation, and it is time to incorporate those very things i have explored into a natural rhythm within my life. i haven't always trusted that things unfold exactly as they should. i have spent several long periods of my life wishing that there was some other way or some other place. my power is lost in that because i am the ONLY one in my life who can create my own happiness, away and apart from the circumstances. so, waking up to a slow feeling of trust that it is never the end of the story~although it implies work~it is a high flying sense of togetherness. It all comes together, even if just for a few moments. It is in those moments that i am choosing to believe.

lazy summer days...

they drive me crazy!

living in this desert feels a bit unnatural at times. the months upon months when the temps reach well into the 100's send us all into the coolness of our air conditioned living rooms. or indoor play centers. or in water...ANYWHERE there is water. and so it has been for us. we get a bit stir crazy this time of year. cabin fever, if you will. it always feels to be the very reversal of what most peeps are experiencing this time of year. and come december...i will be so very thrilled about the fact that i live in this valley. but for now. i am struggling a wee bit. i am one who feels most comfortable when my children are in an environment of wide open space. where they can run and gallop and roar with plenty of room to roam. there is a tad bit of anxiety anytime i am taking them some where with the intention to "play"...where they are expected to stay within close proximity of at least a dozen other children. it just isn't a prescription for ease. but. we are managing just fine. and the beauty of having children is that they surprise you around every corner. so, we have actually had some very pleasant and enjoyable experiences within the confinement of indoor play centers! waddya know!?!? the bliss of our existence this summer has centered around water, as it does every summer here. both of my chilis are showing so much independence in the water. they float and they submerge and they kick and they hold breath and they are so very happy within this element. it is one way to stretch our bodies and move about to delight and please the sense of activity when it feels so very impossible to run around through fields of fresh air. for whatever reasons, the 115 degree air of a city just doesn't summon the word "fresh".

and so, instead. we flounder around in the water. pretending to be plesiosaurs. and the like. and we attempt to cool off our melting bodies in the refreshment of water.

life. joy. water.