love this life

1.12.2009

blissed out beauty.

i figure if i wait any longer to get on here and write. well, i fear i just won't ever post again. so here i am. hi there. ;)

today was such a beautiful day. seriously. the weather could NOT have been any more perfect and despite the fact that my allergies are making me c.r.a.z.y. (i have to blame something, right?)...i spent a good chunk of time outdoors with my little ones. playing. painting. digging in our garden.

here is what we came out with:

is that not entirely blissful or what?

grown by our own hands and nourished from the earth mother.

so friggin' awesome.

i get hyped up every time i walk out there and look at all the LIFE.

life that sustains and strengthens more life.

it's crazy.

this cycle of living.

any who.

all of our root plants are thriving.

the frost killed our squash plants.

i killed our beans.

and peas.

and our lettuce just NOW decided to sprout.

strange little lettuce.

and our broccoli?

well...let me just have you say hello.

wowza, huh?

but when is this thing supposed to grow the heads that we eat?

any ideas?

because i love me some broccoli and these plants are just taunting me.

i just wanted to share those with you because it is hard for me to explain just how much i love growing some of our own food.

it completely fulfills me.

and the taste of these vegetables is so incredibly alive as well.

let me just roll with that for a minute because somehow that coincides with how i am experiencing myself at the moment.

rooted. alive. growing. expanding.

my head has been so busy the past several months that i didn't even really give it a second thought...the NEW year and how i was going to spend it.

the night came and went but i was so completely surprised to find myself with this bright, steady, hopeful energy sweeping across my face the next day...kissing my cheeks and waking me up to a new year.

a year i have vowed to dedicate as one where i create abundant JOY. one where i courageously and honestly unveil more of my vibe. my soul-ful-ness. my passions and energy and love.

i know this year holds bliss and i am going to courageously uncover it.

i hold tight to that momentum.

and of course there have been moments where i slip and think

"what is this? the same old thing. the same old habits. the same."

but i am aware. and i am loving even that.

i've been connecting with beautiful, beautiful souls.

of course i have made lists (you know this of me, yes...i love the lists).

i got my nose pierced.

i have been swooning over my new day planner.

delighting in the weather paradise that is winter in the desert.

celebrating five years of marriage with my husband, sushi and some pool.

remembering my youth by doing flips on the trampoline.

scheming up a brand new blog that is in the works.

anticipating the honest laughter and meaningful conversation with my kindred when she comes to visit in less than two weeks!

drinking deep red wine.

reading this book. and loving it.

having some really, truly, deeply fun photography sessions.

being called an indian princess with my newly dyed black (ish) hair.

finding the ultimate dream-of-mine vanagon for sale. bright yellow and white. and then remembering why it wouldn't be all that reasonable to buy it now. i can't remember why i shouldn't at this moment though. i've think reason is over rated.

i've been reconnecting with my love for writing, and i've been doing it on the pages of my notebooks and it feels oh so very good.

feeling supported and encouraged by those pockets of communities i am attracting who know and understand various pieces of my being.

listening to music i absolutely cannot get enough of

dreaming really, really, really big and holding out hope that dreams come true.

watching my children just grow and soak up every ounce of their world, every single day.

saying yes a little bit more...

and looking for connection along the way.

i hope you are blissing out your brand new year.

there is so much love to be had.

12.24.2008

family (december views)

wishing you beautiful moments with your loved ones!

12.19.2008

in my head (december words)

i need words.

i have a lot of junk to sort through in my mind, and i need to write.

the thoughts are all getting too loud and they need to breathe.

after this, i will slip back into the quietude of december views...where occasionally i have posted a few images of our december moments.

i had a dream last night.

someone gifted my family with a video game system.

i think it was a wii.

i think i can count myself among the minority of this country who would dream about being gifted with a wii, only to wake up and call it a nightmare.

it was sort of a nightmare for me.

i got all anxious and unsettled that there was a wii in my home.

ha.

i think that is kind of funny, because seriously,

it got me very anxious.

i went shopping yesterday.

for the first time all month.

my ability to juggle working and planning for the holidays and being present with my children is a work in progress.

i totally forgot about gifts...or i just put them off because i didn't realize how fast the days were slipping by.

so my handmade pledge has gone by the wayside this year...and yesterday, I shopped.

it didn't feel good.

i always wonder why we do this.

i understand the pleasure of giving.

i understand the joy in watching my children open presents in excitement.

i just get turned off when i go out in our consumer driven world and get gobbled up by the energy of it all.

i just really should have shopped on etsy earlier this month, and i wish i would have brought to fruition all the thoughts of what i could make myself.

alas.

i didn't.

and in the midst of all the "should haves", i can see (and hear) my children taking note of the consumer driven aspect of the holiday season.

and i don't really know exactly how to approach it all in wisdom and gentleness.

i suppose enhancing the experiences of meaning is important.

this year, instead of drawing names for the family i was born into, we decided to give that money to a family that we are tied to who is going through very difficult times.

i feel good about where all of that giving is going.

i also love being able to gift the children in my life with treasures i know they will enjoy.

the rest of it, eh.

it just isn't what makes the season sing.

my heart is hanging on the truth i know of people struggling so much.

some worlds away, and some not so far.

i am reminded of how much MORE i can do with this life of mine.

and how, really, truly...how very lucky i am.

it was raining so hard the other night and it was c.o.l.d.

i walked out to my backyard and watched the rain and saw how beautiful it was and stopped and really had a moment of huge thankfulness that we had shelter and warmth and that my kids were tucked away in a bed with blankets and that i didn't have to worry about them at all in that way.

i know there is complexity to every situation.

i think i am just aching for the simple things in life.

i dream up these escape plans in my head and picture the work i could be doing and also wish so deeply that my children (and myself) could come close to areas of the world that are so different than ours and learn just how little we need.

even though i may think we don't have very much on the spectrum of this society.

really, we have the world.

and.

we have each other.

perhaps i am being a bit of a scrooge.

i have a slight case of the grumblies today.

but i needed to air my thoughts, i need to sort them out a bit and act on what i can...and move on with it all.

today we are going to string cranberries and popcorn for the outdoor tree, paint a birdhouse and make bird feeder ornaments to hang for solstice tomorrow.

i am hoping for a quiet, cozy weekend with my little family in celebration of this time of year.

i take a deep breath.

i will decide to focus on what brings me joy.

little, tiny, thoughtful things.

edited to add!

go read this.

it is the most kindred piece i have read in a long time.

she spins magic with words.